Why do we always put ourselves last? 5 tips to help you fall in love with yourself

Are you constantly putting everyone else’s needs before your own? There is no reason that you should be putting yourself on the back burner. We as a society find our worth by how much we do for others. They like us more, they think we are amazing, they want to be around us more. Of course they do! The fact of the matter is we need to be secure in order to be able to genuinely help others. Here’s a few tips to help you get back to you!

1. 2:1 two to one ratio

For every two things that you do for others you need to make sure you are doing one thing for yourself.

This means you are stopping and actually doing something. Perhaps you are getting a manicure, or you are taking a 30 minute break for the gym. I like to take time out to do a beauty service on myself like a mask or a teeth whitening session. Whatever it is just make sure it is improving you or your circumstances some how.

2. Have some quiet time to reflect on yourself.

Taking time to think about you and where you are at are key to getting where you want to go. Many times we want to hide from our own issues so we take others peoples issues on. This may be a temporary coping mechanism but it works! You have now successfully fixed a problem but it wasn’t your own. Guess what? Your problem is still waiting for you. I personally like to reflect while I am sitting in the sauna recovering from my workout. I am able to get two birds with one stone this way. You will be amazed how some thoughtful reflection will improve your situation.

3. Learn how to say, No!

Saying no takes conviction. It may or may not instill some negative emotions in the other partie(s), but that isn’t your problem. You already are doing so much, especially through the holiday season. There is no way that you can continue to agree to do more, and more, and stay sane. Its not so much your words as it is your delivery. Its simple all you have to do is say one syllable, NO!

4. Start keeping a list.

We don’t really realize how much we are doing for others until we start to keep track of this. Write it down and the date. Make sure to include how you felt taking this on. The feelings are sure to fade and the novelty may ware-off. Your writings will however be there for as long as you keep that diary. How many times have you agreed to something but were seething inside? I bet you forgot about it rather quickly. Don’t become a victim of your memory.

5. People change…so can you!

There is a saying that “people don’t change.” This isn’t the case. Everyone deserves a chance to show their changes. Just like they make the changes needed to grow and acclimate, so do you. Reading this blog and starting to take some of these tips on yourself is change. You are an adaptable animal that will adapt to any imposed demand. Not all of these demands need to be distressing. You can actually impose positive stress on yourself. It's called eustress and you should become acquainted with it. Like going to the gym and pushing yourself a little further than you have before. Or playing a competitive game.